


Day 1: Team Management

by reiley



Series: Not So Average Days [1]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sex Pollen, cracktasmagoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:56:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reiley/pseuds/reiley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>originally posted 10/13/08</p>
    </blockquote>





	Day 1: Team Management

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted 10/13/08

* * *

An average day - well, average for Torchwood - Tuesday started out like any other. Ianto made coffee; Jack gave him a blowjob; Toshiko arrived just a few minutes later, as always, and began work on her new translation program; Gwen and Owen were late. Shortly after, the team was called out on a standard retrieval mission, leaving Ianto behind to finish falsifying documents and cleaning up the mess of their last undercover operation. All in all, pretty standard.

However, as one would learn in time, it is always best never to assume anything in this job.

So, Ianto isn’t entirely shocked when the door rolls open to reveal the team holding Jack in shackles as he struggles to free himself. Owen and Gwen drag him through the door, holding him back and fending him off at the same time.

Unfortunately for them, they aren’t aware that Jack is rather skilled in the art of escape and they hadn’t made the cuffs tight enough. Ianto, of course, knows this. The surprise comes after Jack frees himself, knocks the others’ hands off him, looks across the hub, calling, “Ianto!” and bounds over to sweep Ianto up off his feet.

As Ianto is slung, bodily, over Jack’s shoulder, he looks to the team in confusion. He only sees them shrug as Jack carries him into his office and, together, they disappear down the hole in the floor.

~~~

Owen wipes a trickle of blood from his mouth where Jack’s fist had caught him while Gwen starts toward Jack’s office. She spins around, inquiring, “Should we let them…” trailing off and gesturing helplessly toward the closed hatch.

Owen shrugs, “Why not? Nothing they haven’t done before.”

Toshiko tries to discreetly adjust the buttons of her blouse and comb her fingers through her hair at the same time. “He’s right, Gwen. It’s really best to just… let it run its course.” She hurries to her computer station, face flushed and still trying to catch her breath.

~~~

When Ianto emerges, he is fully clothed with not a hair out of place. He walks slowly out of Jack’s office, approaching the others all together on the sofa. “So, is anyone going to explain to me what that was all about?”

Gwen licks her lips, eyes darting away from him and Tosh blushes looking down at her hands folded in her lap. Owen rolls his eyes, sighing. “Yeah. That _thing_ we went to get turned out to be some weird plant. Jack went to check it out first and got blasted with some sort of alien aphrodisiac.”

Ianto nods. “Of course he did.”

Gwen turns big eyes up to him. “We tried to get him back here as fast as we could. We thought maybe if we locked him up in a cell for a while it would just wear off on its own.”

“Yes, well.” Ianto clears his throat. “What about the plant? You didn’t leave it out there for someone else to find, did you?”

“Gwen torched it with the sodding flame-thrower.” Owen scowls at her. “She’s lucky that destroyed it instead of releasing potent smoke all over the city.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do, Owen? You were all too busy.”

“I was busy holding Jack off Tosh!” he yells back at her.

Concerned, Ianto looks down at her, asking, “Tosh? Are you all right?”

She blushes bright scarlet and Owen answers for her, “She got a mild dousing, too. I think just the bit wafting off of Jack, actually.”

“I’m sorry, Ianto,” she says, looking up at him truly apologetically and he notices for the first time that her make up from that morning has been wiped off and not reapplied.

He offers her a conspiratorial grin. “It’s OK, Tosh. He’s hard to resist even without the alien influence.”

“Are _you_ OK?” Gwen asks him.

“Yeah, mate, thanks for taking one for the team.”

Ianto frowns at Owen. “You’re fucking kidding me, if you think it was just once.”

They all quickly look away from him, but Owen turns back, asking, “So, where is old Jack? All shagged out, finally?”

“Uh…” Ianto sighs, eyes darting away from them. “I may have… suffocated him to death with a pillow.” He looks back and they are all staring at him. “It’s alright; he was enjoying it at the time. Don’t look at me like that. Even **I** need a break after _four hours!_ ” Turning sharply on his heel, he tries to stomp away to the kitchen, but he can’t mask the wincing with each step. He calls back over his shoulder, “If this happens again, you won’t be leaving me on my own.”

“What we supposed to do?” Owen shouts. “Tag-team him?”

“Don’t give him ideas,” Gwen hisses.

“Hey, guys! Where’s Ianto?”

Startled, they all whirl around to see Jack standing in the doorway to his office, his hair sticking up in all directions. He is dressed, but his shirt is rumpled and untucked and his trousers are hanging off his hips.

Ianto hurries past them in a blur of navy and pinstripe, grabbing his coat and slipping out the door. A second later Owen, Gwen and Toshiko are gathering their things and following right on his heels.

“What?” Jack calls after them. “I just wanted a cup of coffee!”

* * *


End file.
